What do you mean, It's just a curse?
by greekprophet
Summary: Just a light-hearted one-shot in which Sam is cursed, Castiel is confused and Dean is the only one who has his head in the right place... maybe. Warnings: mentions of boy/boy although it's not really wincest!


**What do you mean, It's just a curse?**

"A curse?" demanded Dean. He didn't yelp. Real men don't yelp. Maybe his voice was slightly higher pitched than usual but, under the circumstances, he felt it was justified. He glared at the serious face of Castiel, the angel who was supposed to be his guardian. So far Dean was less than impressed. "Dude, I just locked my _brother_ in the bathroom because he jumped me and started demanding hot gay sex. What the hell kind of curse does that to someone?"

"You have encountered many curses in your travels, Dean," the angel said, his confusion written all over his face "Your disbelief makes no sense. This curse is no different to any other you have fought and broken."

"I don't think you're quite getting it, Cas," the human said as calmly as he could "My brother just tried to shove his tongue down my throat. That goes so unbelievably far beyond any kind of curse that I've ever experienced. He's not even gay, for Christ's sake!"

"I believe it works in a similar way to imprinting in young animals," Castiel said. In Dean's opinion he was being far too calm about the whole business. "Had you been at a restaurant, for example, Sam's amorous attentions may have been directed at your waitress or another stranger. Since you were the only individual near Sam, his attention focused on you."

"Well how do we break it?" Dean asked tiredly. He needed a drink. In fact he needed several drinks. With that thought in mind he pulled a beer from the minifridge.

"It may be a cursed item," Castiel said thoughtfully as Dean flicked the cap off his beer "You would need to burn it as you would in any other curse. Or," he continued just as Dean was raising the bottle to his lips "You may need to simply have sex." Beer sprayed over the already stained carpet as the human choked for breath.

"What!" he demanded. OK maybe that time he did yelp. "Cas, what the hell?"

"The curse," the angel said, looking at Dean as if he was crazy. Maybe he was. "You need to break the curse, Dean. Sam cannot be comfortable with this situation either. We should be thankful that it's just a curse and not some form of possesion."

"What do you mean, 'It's just a curse'," Dean said angrily "Pretty big curse, Cas. And anyhow, since when were you big on gay sex. Doesn't the bible have a whole anti-gay thing going on?"

"Human's wrote the bible, Dean," the angel told him "God doesn't care how or who you love as long as you do love."

"So God doesn't care if I want to bang my brother," Dean asked "And that is officially the weirdest thing I have ever said," he added, his mind reeling. Suddenly the door to the bathroom shuddered under an onslaught of heavy knocking.

"Dean!" Sam's voice was far too loud in the previously quiet motel room "What the hell is going on? Why am I locked in the bathroom? And why the hell can't I remember anything."

"There," Dean said happily "He's better. Must have worn off."

"Sam can be crafty," the angel warned him "He may have realised that the only way to get to you is to pretend to be normal." The elder Winchester sighed. Where things ever going to be easy for them?

"Sam," he called through the door "Do you have the irresistable urge to take me from behind?" He ignored the way Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Dean, what?" Sam demanded "Have you gone completely crazy?"

"Is that a no?"

"Of course it's a no. Let me out of here, dammit."

"OK," Dean said. He reached to flick the lock over, ignoring the warning look the angel gave him. Sam stood in the doorway. He looked completely normal and Dean turned to Castiel with a smile. "I told you so," he said smugly but that was as far as he got before he was tackled to the ground. As he considered the best way to knock his brother out without causing too much damage he acknowleged to himself that he really should listen to Cas more often in the future.


End file.
